How I'm Getting More Exercise When There Is No Time for Exercise
I'm not doing sit-ups while watching TV. I'm not doing it!
Something has always bugged me about the concept of “habit stacking” popularized by James Clear. He writes:
One of the best ways to build a new habit is to identify a current habit you already do each day and then stack your new behavior on top. This is called habit stacking.1
Wow so easy!
I’ve tried and failed to do a lot of this stuff. Write out a to-do list while drinking coffee. Floss in the shower. Take something with you to put away every time you leave room.
All of this stuff, so very wise, instantly forgotten. I also think my oppositional nature resists this kind of thing - like dang, I just want to take a flipping hot shower for 37 seconds, leave me alone with your floss shame! (despite the fact that I myself want to actually do these things).
I really need to exercise more. Exercise makes me feel awesome. It reduces my task initiation resistance so much. Before kids, I exercised all the time and was a pretty consistent distance runner. Loved a good 10K! But that’s because I could spend all day Saturday prepping to run, running, and recovering from running, and patting myself on the back. No one was crying because I dared to leave the house for 10 minutes when their dad is right there.
A lot of people exercise while watching TV. Sounds great, just do a few push-ups and/or sit-ups while watching TV. It’s a bad habit you’re turning into a good one, right?
I hate it!
Enjoy Enjoyable Things
The narrative in my head is “there’s no time to exercise” which is part of a larger source of bitterness in my life, “there’s no time for ME.” Whether accurate or not, I feel like I spend every waking moment on other people. But I’ve been overlooking the moments that I do get to relax. My ADHD brain does not notice those moments.
That 37-second hot shower. My cup of coffee. Walking through my actual house I get to live in. How incredibly fortunate I am to have these things.
I’m not going to gratitude journal (another thing I want to be left alone about - such a good idea that I know many people enjoy but I hate it) but I do need to focus on things in my life that area actually great and I’m so lucky to have.
After kids, once I realized the only way to watch TV would be to sacrifice sleep, I stopped watching TV. But my 9-year-old has gotten to the point where she watches TV that I genuinely kind of like (Camp Cretaceous on Netflix, especially its newest iteration, Chaos Theory, is actually pretty great!). My toddler likes Bluey which I also genuinely enjoy watching. Heck, mindless kid TV is often pretty OK and relaxing.
Without realizing it, I’ve been joining my kids with their TV time, not necessarily for a ton of time because there are dishes to do and what not. But maybe for half an episode, I intentionally sit on the couch. I snuggle the kiddos and dog (who also likes to watch Camp Cretaceous). I feel how comfortable it is to do this.
How enjoyable.
So, contrary to my (quite frankly, whiny) assumption, I do have time for me. I get to enjoy the time with my kids, watching a dinosaur show (that frankly is filled with nostalgia for me as a 90’s kid who loved Jurassic Park), with nothing to do for a few minutes except enjoy something.
I’m not going to make myself do sit-ups during this time. I’m going to enjoy it. I’m going to fully relax during relaxing time. I’m going to prove to myself I do get to relax, I’ve just been overlooking those moments.
Harnessing Oppositionality To Get Stuff Done
I can be oppositional just like a lot of ADHDers. My flavor of it is mostly a kind of indignation at being told I can do something better (how very dare you, I’m clearly working as hard as I can!).
That emotion is one tiny step away from the most powerful motivator in my (frankly otherwise empty) motivational toolkit:
I’m going to prove everyone wrong and be awesome at this.
Basically, oh yeah? shut up and watch me.
No one really is telling me what to do but myself, but I waste a lot of energy fighting myself because I feel like I’m being backed into a corner by social expectations. If “society” tells me something is good for me then “society” can jump off a cliff.
But if “society” tells me I can’t do something -
shut up and watch me!
I can’t run two laps around my neighborhood in jeans and slippers because I have no idea where my running shoes are? Watch me. It’s raining so I can’t go running? Watch me. There’s no time so I’m not allowed to go for a quick 10 minute run? Watch meeeee!
I forget enjoyable things are enjoyable. I seem to only find the motivation to do things when I’m ready to punch myself in the face.
My brain says, “I’m not joining the 5-am club, I’m not hardcore, I don’t have any discipline.”
My ADHD says, “oh yeah? Watch me.”
https://jamesclear.com/habit-stacking
This is how I ended up becoming a "flosser". I was going to a new dentist and she asked me if I floss and told her proudly that I floss around 2-3 times a week. And she says, "yea, we call that a non-flosser". And in my head I was like "who are you calling a non flosser!?" The nerve! Fast forward three years and I'v flossed every day ever since lol. Guess we have to find ways to out trick our tricky brains :)